Very many partners are suffering quietly in an outrageous relationship because they do not even realize that they are being abused.
They have become so compliant through abuse beginning in childhood that cannot detect abnormal treatment.
For this reason, Dr. Heyward Ewart has listed 34 questions for partners to ask themselves to determine if their relationship is abusive.
Ewart, author of a new book on the subject of child abuse and its life-long impact, offers this questionnaire as an excerpt from his work.
1. Are you afraid of your partner?
2. Do you feel as though you have to "walk on eggshells" to keep your partner from getting grouchy?
3. Has your partner ever hit, slapped, or pushed you?
4. Do your feel you deserve to be punished?
5. Do you ever have the feeling you've done something wrong but you don't know what it is?
6. Have you lost respect or love for your partner?
7. Are you ever afraid your partner will hurt the children?
8. Have you ever daydreamed of killing or disabling your partner?
9. Is your partner good to you some or most of the time but suddenly gets scary?
10. Are the children afraid of your partner?
11. Does your partner ever tell you you're crazy?
12. Has your partner ever threatened to hurt you?
13. Do you ever fear you may be seriously hurt by your partner?
14. Has your partner ever threatened to commit suicide?
15. Has anybody warned you to get out of the relationship?
16. Were you abused or neglected as a child?
17. Has your partner forced you to do things you don't want to do?
18. If you say "no" to your partner, is there danger?
19. Have you lost any friends due to your partner?
20. Does your partner have to approve where you go and when?
21. Have you lost a job because of your partner?
22. Does your partner stop you from doing things you want to do?
23. Does your partner doubt your word; that is, not believe you?
24. Do you feel emotionally numb?
25. Are you afraid to tell anyone what's really going on?
26. Have you ever wanted to call the police or someone else for protection?
27. Do you ever feel hopeless about your situation?
28. Have you ever thought about running away?
29. Does your partner change when using alcohol or drugs?
30. Are you forced into sex when you're not willing?
31. Do you feel like your partner's personal possession?
32. Have you ever been in a violent or controlling relationship before?
33. Was there bad fighting in the family you grew up in?
34. Are you a grown child of an alcoholic or drug abuser?
I changed the word "women" to "partners" as I am fully aware that abuse is not only a woman's problem!