Parents Took Discipline to the Extreme

Robert Hohn and Shannon Watterson allegedly redesigned their 12-year-old son’s room for one deeply disturbing purpose.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/11/30/robert-hohn-shannon-watterson-boy-locked-bare-room_n_2220173.html?utm_hp_ref=crime&icid=maing-grid10%7Chtmlws-main-bb%7Cdl3%7Csec1_lnk3%26pLid%3D240264

My two cents:

Trauma Bonds

The story above is a perfect example of traumatic bonding. The worse one is treated in childhood, the more they become bonded with their abuser (even if the bond is formed in hate-or unconditional love/fear from the child) and the kicker is; once a child is traumatized, they become ‘energetically’bonded to future relationships, friendships and work-places, with people who have the exact same abusive energy as their original abusers!

In this case it’s clear to the child that he’s being treated badly, however, the problem with Trauma Bonds is that those who were raised with functioning Malignant Narcissists or highly functioning pathological Psychopaths, the abusive bond formed is unclear to the child, including once that child is grown!

What happens then is that the young adult, or full adult will one day recognize that they have a history of bad relationships behind them, one more painful than the next! And one day.. after repeated contact with highly functioning Malignant Narcissists and or highly functioning pathological psychopaths one will have reached the point of suicide, and if they hold on…one more minute that’s when it’ll happen! They will break down the maladaptive, dysfunctional Ego (Inner protector) which was put firmly in place to survive an abusive childhood and surrender!

Upon surrender, the ready to end it all adult will look within! Once they have broken down their protective Ego’s they will be forced to see that they’ve lived a very uncomfortable, painfully comfortable life of repeated abusive relationships! Then and only then, will the adult be open to the fact that they’ve been caught up in some kind of sick abusive cycle their entire lives! The stories will all have been different enough to make the connection hard, but the feelings that each story produced will be the exact same!

This type of maladaptive, unsuitable or counterproductive behavior looks to outsiders like, one is ‘Short Circuiting’, because it is behavior that is inappropriate to a given situation. So, one caught in Traumatic Bonding, may have had one or two people in their past that recognized their dysfunctional self-sabotaging ways and brought it to their attention, but the firmly in place inner protective Ego, will not allow the person to see or accept that they’ve played a role in their own life of abuse! Usually one will be in such a deep denial that they can-not see reality as it is.

Here this innocent child, has been locked in a room, with only a lamp, not even a lamp shade, no bed, no other furniture, nothing to keep warm, little to no food.. no outside contact with friends or anyone that could help him- he finally breaks free, and runs nearly a mile to an old schoolmates home.. and when his friends mother answers the door to find him freezing without shoes or a jacket in December. The boy still refuses to tell the truth, in an effort to protect his abusive parents!

This type of protective behavior is what Mental Health Professionals call personality disorders!

Patrick Carnes wrote a book on this type of self-sabotaging behavior and called it, “The Betrayal Bond; Breaking Free of Exploitive Relationships.” In which, he concludes that "Loyalty to that which does not work, or worse, to a person who is toxic, exploitive, or destructive to you, is a form of insanity."

Some of the signs are "misplaced loyalty, inability to detach, and self-destructive denial." Then, the punch line, “You will never mend the wound without dealing with the betrayal bond." Time won't heal it, compulsive or addictive behaviors won't numb it away, therapy won't cure it, spirituality won't work...none of it will help unless you confront the trauma bond itself. ~ Adapted from the book, “The Betrayal Bond; Breaking Free of Exploitive Relationships.”

There are many others (myself included) who have been on the edge, and have broken down to the point of ending it all.. and have miraculously come back from the edge.. willing to look within, and finally accept & heal their Trauma Bonds!

It’s nothing to be ashamed of, it happens to innocent children who grow into innocent adults every day! If you feel that you may be Traumatically Bonded to people who hurt you..

Check out my Personal Empowerment Coaching, ‘Featured’ page here… http://blog.wizpert.com/love-tears-i-will-suvive/ where you can link up with me on various sites for help!

Additionally check these amazing sites out! Below, are a few links from others who have awakened to their own Trauma Bonding to abusers..

http://ptsdme.blogspot.com/2005/12/more-on-betrayal-bonds-aka-trauma.html

http://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/trauma-bonding-is-it-love-or-something-else/

 

INDIANAPOLIS —

An Indiana woman whose young son was abducted 19 years ago was screaming and "jumping up and down" after learning he was living in Minnesota under a different name, her husband said Thursday shortly after police announced they had found him.

Richard Wayne Landers Jr. was just 5 years old when he and his paternal grandparents, who were upset over custody arrangements, disappeared from Wolcottville, a town about 30 miles north of Fort Wayne.

Indiana State Police said the now 24-year-old Landers was found in Long Prairie, Minn., thanks in part to his Social Security number. His grandparents were living under aliases in a nearby town and confirmed his identity, investigators said.

Police declined to say whether the grandparents would face charges, citing the ongoing investigation.

Landers' mother, Lisa Harter, was "jumping up and down for joy" when investigators told her a few days ago that her son had been found, her husband Richard Harter told The Associated Press in a telephone interview.

He said his wife is "the happiest woman on earth."

Harter said he and his wife were working with an attorney and hoped to reunite with his stepson soon.

Police said Landers is married and expecting his first child.

Harter declined further comment and referred questions about the case to his attorney, who didn't immediately return phone messages Thursday. Investigators declined to release the names under which Landers and his grandparents had been living.

Police said the boy's paternal grandparents, Richard E. and Ruth A. Landers, abducted him in July 1994 because they were "upset over pending court proceedings" regarding his placement.

Police spokesman Sgt. Ron Galaviz said it appears the boy's father was never in the picture. Lisa and Richard Harter had married a year earlier.

Authorities believe the grandparents took the boy from their home in Wolcottville and fled. They were charged at the time with misdemeanor interference with custody, which was bumped up to a felony in 1999. But the charge was dismissed in 2008 after the case went cold.

Investigators reopened the case in September when Richard Harter turned over the boy's Social
Security card to an Indiana State Police detective.

That turned up a man with the same Social Security number and date of birth living in Long Prairie, Minn., about 100 miles northwest of Minneapolis. A driver's license photo for the man appeared to resemble Landers, police said.

Indiana State Police then contacted Minnesota law enforcement agencies, which began investigating along with the FBI and the Social Security Administration.

The grandparents were found living in nearby Browerville, Minn.

"By all accounts, it didn't appear he suffered from any abuse, either physical or mental," Galaviz said.

Original Link with Pictures & a Video: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/01/11/richard-wayne-landers-jr-found_n_2454809.html?1357908530&icid=maing-grid10%7Chtmlws-main-bb%7Cdl1%7Csec1_lnk2%26pLid%3D255786

My Comment:

This story is awesome one the one hand, and horribly sad on the other! It's phenomenal that this young man's mother has closure and her son is alive!

It's an outright shame that society is so unaware of, or blatantly turns a blind eye to psychological abuse! This young man has without a doubt suffered severe psychological abuse at the hands of his grandparents who felt entitled to take him from his mother in the first place. Granted, I do not know the circumstances behind the kidnapping, however the circumstances are irrelevant compared to the psychological damage done to a 5 year old that was taken from his mother’s life!  

There is no way a child ripped from the only parent he knew could possibly feel loved enough, or good enough, or worthy enough once he was told whatever lies he was told insofar as why his mother was not in his life after the kidnapping!

Additionally, when a child does not feel loved enough, or good enough, or worthy enough they must create inner protectors to keep them sane, safe and secure in a world. Those inner protectors do not age, they stay at the age they were created, and become that child’s personal body guard throughout life- regardless of the growing child’s chronological age, distorting reality, living in denial and making use of every or any defense mechanisms available to the child throughout life, so that the child, young adult, adult will never has to feel that horrific emotional pain in which the inner protector was created to protect him from in the first place.

Please people, it’s time for us to stand up as a society and demand that psychological abuse be punished if not more severely than physical abuse, at least equal to physical abuse..  Because, those whose lives will forever be dysfunctional due to unacknowledged psychological abuse, will suffer after each respective abusive relationship that they cannot help but draw to themselves.

As sad as it is, that’s how abuse and dysfunction work; one will forever reenact the dynamics of their childhood abuse, over and over, and over again.. until they deal with the skeletons in their closets; the ghosts who keep calling the person back to be set free!

The only way of setting the inner protectors free is by acknowledging that they were not loved in a healthy, nourishing way as children. And doing the work of going back, and if need be, one must go back in their own mind as the adult they have become, and they must allow the inner protector to take a breath of fresh air, and be allowed off duty, so that the child can be shown inner love by the adult they have become. (Self-love) Otherwise, that inner protector will be given labels which coincide with the mental health fields personality disorders, and in one way shape or form, that inner protector will be numbed into silence, whether it’s via street drugs or drugs given to them via the big pharma companies!